Sunday, January 18, 2009

posted by Josh at
So I cut my right hand, right in the palm, whilst handling a large sharp chefs knife. There's basically a large gash right in the web between my index finger and thumb... So basically, I seriously damaged my masturbating hand.

Now it is true that any right-handed man who masturbates with the aid of a computer does learn how to spank his monkey with some degree of efficiency with his left hand so his right hand can work the mouse, but really, lefty is just a fall-back. For all the real serious wanking, you need your dominant hand!

I'm curious, though. Taking stem cells from unborn babies and applying them to grown humans can result in some amazing regrowth of damaged tissue... If I got sperm in a cut, would it heal faster?


Well, at the very least we know it doesn't sting.


OpenID edminster said...

Any chance we gan get pictures of the wound? I mean, if we're getting pictures of some messiah disease, we can at least get some good gore in here, you know? Or is the gore coming when Jeff hits thirty and metamorphosises into his crucifix stage?

6:20 PM, January 19, 2009  
Blogger adwordsmaster said...

Hey you! Unfortunately, I didn't get around to blogging my unfortunate hand injury until days after it had happened. At this point, the wound looks less than gorey. It's still a bit painful, but given the precident I set with my last knife mishap picture ( ), I feel the imagery just doesn't stack up. You understand.

2:08 AM, January 20, 2009  
Blogger Josh said...

Hmm... Incase you're wondering, that was me forgetting that Google owns blogger, and that my professional life has me logged in as another person usually... Fun how that works.

2:23 AM, January 20, 2009  
OpenID edminster said...

Kinda figured it was you. Also, the reason the sperm didn't accelerate the healing process is because you only had half of the necessary ingredients. Next time, get an egg from your girl to rub in there with the sperm, and your cut will knit right in front of your eyes. It can only make a sweatervest, but given the circumstances that's pretty amazing.

6:58 PM, January 20, 2009  

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